Le sigh...

Doc says Miss Liliana isn't quite ready to come yet, so he can't induce BOOOOOOOO!! So unless she makes her own appearance, no baby for me tomorrow. Seeing him again Monday when he'll decide whether to induce March 5th.

Never a truer word spoken...

I read an interview Irish actor Colin Farrell did and found it extremely close to my heart. Farrells son has Angelman Syndrome, a neuro-genetic disorder that affects ones fine motor skills. His son walked for the first time last year, aged 4. It also affects speech. Of his son Farrell says he is happier than so many people in the world. "I look around and I see people who move perfectly, who walk with grace, who speak with great diction and clarity and a great use of the English language and we're all miserable fuckers – including me, at times. And then I see this fella who doesn't move the way what's perceived to be 'normal' is, and he's as happy as can be." My son was a late talker and often was hard to understand. Our doctor suggested early intervention at age 2. Luckily I had my husband to keep me grounded who said he is what he is and is as happy as can be and it will come. We used to watch other kids, run around speaking perfectly but being absolutely horrible to others and all that spouted from their mouths was hate. My son speaks fairly well now and is still the happiest little boy I know. And I will take that over what is perceived to be normal any day.

Vote For Me!!!

I'm in a pin-up contest and you can vote for me everyday between March 1st and 15th. Yes some of the other girls are better but hey - you know me right?!

http://www.myvintagehut.com/pinups.htm

ow

Turns out having a huge needle stuck through your stomach hurts... a lot. Ouch ow bloody hell it nips! Feeling a little queasy but otherwise ok. Get results tomorrow, and hoping to deliver on Wednesday. They're estimating her weight at 6 lbs 12 oz although these things are often out somewhat. Roll on tomorrow - I hate waiting!

Happy 80th Oscar

"I'd like to thank my Mother, for giving me the determination to succeed, my husband for making my dreams possible and my children for making them come true."

I felt so joyous watching the Oscars tonight. Seeing people be so happy and hearing them thank all their amazing, supportive influences is truly inspiring. Someone once said to me that actors deserve no more respect than anyone else - why should they be put on a pedestal above us regular folks. I disagree with this statement for one reason only. Actors have the amazing ability to bring our imaginations to life. When watching films one is transported to a dream world that can make us feel laugh out loud happy or sob in our seats sad. And who didn't feel empowered watching my fellow Scot Gerard Butler in 300? Maybe it's just there are some people in this life who don't give themselves permission to believe. Watching James McAvoy in the front row tonight gave me hope that my little brother will make it there too one day. That anything is possible. Films have brought me such joy at times when I felt very low, and made me feel humble and thankful. I remember coming out of the Matrix and kick boxing my way down the street with my friends. At that moment we felt like life was for living. Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, John Wayne, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson, Sean Connery, Dustin Hoffman - these men are legends - pure and simple. On screen they take you away from whatever strife life is throwing at you and suddenly your hanging off their every word, living the dream. Your heart pounds, you're on the edge of your seat, you jump at the scary bits, you laugh hysterically at the funny bits. For bringing this kind of joy and humility actors deserve every bit of praise they get. On a slightly worrying note the wonderful Dario Marianelli won an Oscar for Best Score for Atonement (which McAvoy starred in - go James!!).... while this is good news for Dario, after all he is one of the best in his business - it is slightly odd for me. Last time I gave birth my charts were mixed up with someone with the surname Marianelli - thus meaning my newborn was thrust into the "may have a horrible disease" category! I'm hoping this isn't a sign from the Gods that a similar fate awaits me this time!

Wednesday 27th February 2008

Is my induction day. The waitings almost over. In 8 days time I'm finally going to be able to breath again. No more heart burn. No more rib breaking pain. It feels a little weird having a definite day but there's also always the chance I will have her naturally in the next week too. My bag is packed. The children are ready to go off to Nonnos. The house is somewhat tidy and fairly clean. Even the dogs are freshly bathed! Oh and that longed for Margarita is ever closer :)

amore

Happy Valentines Day to all. Here follows a sonnet written by Francesco Petrarca from his "Rime in vita e morta di Madonna Laura" collection from back in the 1300s. It doesn't translate well into English, but if you know Italian you'll get the jist. And yes ok the fact that he was passionately in love with someone with my name may have something to do with why I love his work!

Era il giorno ch'al sol si scoloraro
per la pietà del suo factore i rai,
quando ì fui preso, et non me ne guardai,
chè i bè vostr'occhi, donna, mi legaro.

Tempo non mi parea da far riparo
contra colpi d'Amor: però m'andai
secur, senza sospetto; onde i miei guai
nel commune dolor s'incominciaro.

Trovommi Amor del tutto disarmato
et aperta la via per gli occhi al core,
che di lagrime son fatti uscio et varco:

Però al mio parer non li fu honore
ferir me de saetta in quello stato,
a voi armata non mostrar pur l'arco.

Congrats

...to my fantastic husband! The game he designed, wrote and programmed - Call of the Pharaoh - just won the mobile phone game of the year award :) The awards were handed out tonight at the Mobile World Congress in Barcelona. Sadly due to my condition he was unable to flit off to Spain to accept it and rub shoulders with Robert Redford and company, but his boss is there celebrating enough for everyone!

Miss Liliana update

I had an ultrasound yesterday and she is finally head down, ready to go. Thank goodness. Her weight is estimated at 5 lbs 10oz and her body is measuring around the 36-37 wk mark. They said to expect her anytime now. I'm hoping she stays put another week at least so her weight increases a bit. The thought of having another baby in NICU is not a good one. Anyway, what will be - will be. Oh and I finally finished all the laundry and unpacking from Christmas!

Unicorns among us?

A rare white stag has been spotted in Scotland. The location of the animal, which is closely identified with the unicorn, is being kept a secret as the last one was shot and killed by poachers. White deer appear a lot in Celtic mythology, they consider them messengers from another world. White stags are often mistaken for albinos, but their light coloring is caused by a condition called leucism, and they have normal eye coloring, not the red eyes of albinos.

some pig

My children's favorite movie for a while was Charlotte's Web so I'm sure they'll appreciate this lovely baby. He's a Gloucester Old Spot pig born 10 days ago in England. It's the first time the breeder's had a piglet with a heart shaped spot, and just in time for Valentines. He's so cute!

Spring has sprung

Well at least it has in the UK, my crocuses are barely visible. In England daffodils have been spotted as early as December and snowdrops are over already. Ducklings and tiny chicks have hatched, and tortoises are out of hibernation. Although cheering, this is not necessarily good news. There are fears that a return of the cold weather will have harsh results for wildlife and flora. Speaking of good and bad. This picture reminds me of the year I had a box of 50 chicks in my bedroom as it was too chilly for them to be in the hen house. I was around 7 years old at the time. I remember picking one special one that would be mine, he had a little brown patch of fluff so I thought he was unique. He died twice. My Mum had to do mouth to mouth in a desperate bid to save my little chicken. I think in the end the foxes got him, as well as the one duck I picked out as my own. I think I stuck to horses after that!

pearly white

I found this un-worked shot from my last photo-shoot. Even with my shiny face and the hand prints on the floor I like it because I'm smiling. It must be true when people say that if you smile at yourself in the mirror you feel better, because this shot uplifted me on this gloomy day. It also gives me some hope in remembering that I was not always a beached whale - even at 4 months pregnant! I'm really looking forward to getting back in shape, and modeling again.

heartbreaker

This picture of a mother whale and her calf was released by the Australian government in an attempt to draw some attention to the Japanese whalers currently in the act of their annual cull. I will never understand Japans need to kill whales for what they call scientific research. They say they need to kill them in order to study them. Absurd.

God Bless America

I received my official congratulations letter from immigration this morning. I am now a lawful US resident, as opposed to my previous status of legal alien. Nice. Over fours years of dealing with the CIS, and now it's all over. Phew. And yes those are bald eagle chicks, kind of scary looking - no?

blue

I barely have the energy to get dressed anymore. Gosh the last weeks drag. I have hours when I feel motivated to get on with things around the house, then longer hours where I just want to sleep, but can't because of the other children needing me. Then there are feelings of excitement that the baby's nearly here, and planning things like window displays and packaging for my new boutique, followed by periods of darkness where every inch of my body aches and I can't breathe because the baby's head's in my ribs. It's awful not having family here to help - I really miss my Mother at this point. I detest this stage of pregnancy. What makes it worse is getting the emails from the baby firms that say get your rest now, because in a few weeks you'll get no sleep for months. Somewhat ironic seen as I am spending all night every night awake - tossing and turning to try to get in a position where I can breathe and bits of me don't hurt. Le sigh...

miracles

This is the dramatic moment when a two year old was thrown from a third floor window of a burning building in Ludwigshafen, Germany. The child was safely caught by a policeman, but sadly 9 other people, including 5 children died in the blaze. 60 other people were injured in the fire, which was believed to have been started by neo-Nazis. I can't imagine the torture the parents went through having to make this decision, and it isn't known if they got out alive; but at least this lucky toddler will live to see another day.

UPDATE: The baby's parents survived, however his 2 year old brother did not.

WE WONNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Yeah ok I can claim to be a New Yorker when the goings good! There's cheering and fireworks in the street, and all feels good in the City tonight. Let the good times roll.

6 more..

...weeks of winter, according to the lovely furry groundhog Phil. The above pic was taken on our mammoth road trip to Punxsutawney 2 years ago. I was pregnant with my 3rd child at the time. I remember secretly trying to take photos of the Amish people, and praying God or whoever was not watching!

Happy February

Snow - I expect, but rain? Maybe - but not this much! Big drops have been falling since I woke up, and it doesn't look like stopping any time soon. It puts me in mind of my favorite Jack Vettriano painting "The Singing Butler". A print of which, hangs in my Mothers office at our family home in Scotland. For those of you who don't know Jack Vettriano is a Scottish artist born in the 50s, who happens to share the same Birthday as my eldest daughter. His paintings remind me of the old Rat Pack guys, and now the Oceans films. Think Film Noir. He is often criticized for his style of painting, but his use of light is what makes his work amazing to me.