I wanted to post this excerpt from the death notice Heath Ledgers Father published in the West Australian Newspaper, because when I read it I cried.
"My beautiful boy, so loving, so talented, so independent, so caring, so young . . . no more chess games mate . . . this is it, couldn't beat you anyway! My body aches for the sound of your voice, our chats, our laughs and our life and times together."
I can't imagine losing my son. His due date was the 22nd January, the same day Ledger died, 3 years on. You aren't meant to bury your children. My heart goes out to the families of all who have lost sons and daughters. Family for me is the most important thing. As I get older, and slightly wiser, I realize this more and more. Every time I leave Scotland it gets harder to say goodbye to my family, my Mother and especially my Grandmother. I am so close to my 3 brothers, we can read each other without speaking. Maybe Heath Ledgers death is harsher for me because my cousin hung himself just a few years ago. He was around the same age, and had a daughter around the same age as Ledgers. He lived much of his life in Perth where Heath was born and raised, and he died there. Please God I wish the damned media would back the hell away from Ledgers. Seeing the funeral parlor on the news tonight surrounded by paparazzi was soul destroying. Even more so was seeing pictures of his body being taken from the apartment and watching his ex-fiancee arrival back to her Brooklyn home carrying their 2 yr old child. We, should never witness things like that. It's not our news. It's their personal and very private business. Let them grieve in peace for heavens sake.
When I lived in Los Angeles, Counting Crows were very much a part of my life from the guy singing on the car stereo to the guy next to me in the bar. Unlike some, who consider their style of music depressing, I find their music reviving. The way Adam sang about the rain all the time was the first thing that got me into them and in turn is what made me like him as a person. The rain can be code for so many things, life, renewal, pain. To me it's everything. My favorite CC song is Goodnight Elisabeth, whenever I hear it I have so many good memories flood back - "if you wrap yourself in daffodils, I will wrap myself in pain, and if you're the queen of California, baby I am the king of the rain"... "Elisabeth" was sunshine to his rain. A bright light for his darkest days. It's raining here today and to many it would be dreary, to me it brings hope of a new tomorrow. New flowers in the garden, new puddles for the children to jump in. A better life ahead and beautiful memories of yesterday. One of my best memories from LA was one night when a group of us drove out to Joshua Tree to watch the biggest meteor storm I'd ever seen. We drank bourbon and eggnog and lay on flatbed trucks for hours staring up at thousands of falling stars. I phoned my Mum in Scotland at what must have been 4am my time and I remember I was in tears I was so happy at being able to experience something so amazing. Mother Nature is truly awesome. I saw these wonderful photographs taken by storm chasers Mike Hollingshead and Eric Nguyen - to me they managed to capture the hidden beauty in these powerful storms that others so rarely get to experience in person.
