Monday, March 12, 2012

Bramble Boutique

I'm back albeit briefly to mention my Facebook page to all of y'all! Thanks for your support!

Friday, March 9, 2012

coming to a close

So I barely have time to update one blog let alone two - so for now I'm putting this to the back-burner once again and will be staying faithful to my other newer blog

Please follow me there for more regular updates on the life of bramble!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

warm day ahead ahh

So happy it's to be nearly 70f today :) Going out to garden and try make it look less like a wood out back and more like something resembling a garden.  All the children are better which is just wonderful. Nothing worse than the stress and worry of sick children, sleepless nights and endless laundry!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

up all night

What started as my 1 yr old being sick yesterday has turned into a full on assault of sick from the 4 of the little darlings.  I slept with my 3 yr old, who finally stopped throwing up at 5am, only to be woken by the 1 yr old once again ill.. then the 7 yr old ran down the hall didn't make it to the bathroom, and the 6 yr old hasn't left the bathroom in over an hour.  It's going to be a long day!

Monday, March 5, 2012

My heart goes out to everyone affected by the devastating storms

Tornadoes are once again ripping apart this great country straight through the heart.  And my heart aches for those lost and for the families affected by this devastation.  The story of the baby girl found alive 10 miles from home next to the dead bodies of her family, just hurt so much I couldn't read the whole thing.  She died from her injuries over the weekend.  Terrible what Mother Nature can inflict on us.

Friday, March 2, 2012

One of my favorite bloggers wrote a book

I just wanted to really put a shout out there to everyone to turn you on to one of my fave blogs. Always leaves me feeling warm after reading which is a good thing on these cold days! She just had her book published, and it's a heart-wrenching but also lovingly wonderful tale of motherhood from her knowing eyes.  Her blog is a daily dose of beautiful photographs and sweet tales of what her clan have been up to.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

March is here!

Spring has sprung.. well not quite but who can resist cute bunnies in teacups to celebrate the oncoming season! I am so looking forward to the warmer months, and watching my new garden  evolve. Happy March to all!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Disney Leap Day Dreaming..

If I was down near Florida or over in Cali I would take advantage of this! 24 hours of Disney - I'm there!

"DisneyWorld is celebrating Leap Day today with a 24-hour opening-- 6 a.m. Feb. 29 through 6 a.m..
Called "One More Disney Day," Disney says it is the first time both Disneyland in California and the Magic Kingdom park in Florida will be open 24 hours straight."

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

A Heartwarming and wrenching story to start my comeback!

Everyone who knows me knows I love horses, and have done my entire life. So reading this brought the floodgates crashing down this morning.  Great job to the horse owner, how terrifying to have to go through that though.

"This was the terrifying moment a brave young mother battled to keep her beloved horse calm as sea water closed in on the animal after he became trapped in mud 'like quicksand'. Exhausted and mud-splattered, Nicole Graham clung to her trapped horse Astro for three hours keeping his head high in a race against the tide. The 78-stone show horse had sunk into quagmire-like mud and was facing the prospect of drowning as the water rose around them. Miss Graham had been out on an afternoon ride with her daughter along the coast near Geelong, south of Melbourne, when 18-year-old Astro suddenly sank into the mud. Before she could shout a warning, the smaller horse her daughter Paris was riding was also partially swallowed up by the mud. After dragging herself through the mire, Miss Graham helped her daughter and the other horse on to firmer ground. However, Astro was stuck fast and her efforts to pull him free only resulted in herself sinking deeper into the quagmire. As Paris ran to their car and phoned for help, Miss Graham stayed at her horse’s side. She courageously clung on to his neck, terrified that he would not be freed before the tide came in. After three 'terrifying' hours, rescuers managed to pull Astro and Miss Graham from the mud."

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Sleepless in NYC

So here I am officially a Mother of 5, including 4 aged 5 and under! My lovely Oliver was born on the 15th of July. He being the final baby had to come in with a fuss - of course, he's male isn't he? The epidural went wrong, I couldn't move my left side for 4 hours after the birth.. my vitals dropped through the floor, then his, then he came out with the cord tightly wound round his neck not 1 but 4 times (!). On cutting the final piece blood splattered all over the Dr, assistants, my husband myself and the bed. Très dramatique! But he is here, safe and sound, and all is well in the end. I'm starting back at the market next week. Trying to clear out the rubbish and only take what will definitely sell. Tired of dragging round half the basement only to repack it at days end. Also in midst of deciding what I really want to do with my life. Final babies do that you know! I trained in Graphic Design, and worked thereafter in editorial, but left it behind years ago and never really looked back. Not sure what I really want or even like doing anymore. I know I want to pursue acting, but roles are few and far between, and without having family to watch the kids, (I don't want to pay the nanny to look after them for just auditions), it makes it nearly impossible to really have a go at this. Lots to think about. As usual no time to clear my head enough to do that. C'est la vie!

Thursday, June 17, 2010


Alas Facebook and the need to post my thoughts in my status has led to the great neglect of my blog. Le sigh! In brief I am a few weeks away from delivering my 5th and final baby. (Cant work out if I find the belly pic disturbing or cute) Looking forward to getting back in fighting form, and hitting auditions hard and fast. Really want to pursue this acting bug that has chased me in spurts throughout my colorful life. 私は戻ってきます

Friday, November 27, 2009

Happy Holidays

The Holiday season has officially begun and I am happy to say I'm ready for it for once! Bought all the children's presents - even started wrapping them. Got most of the decorations up from the basement, and the children have been playing with a Christmas toy set all morning. 4 weeks til the big day! Heading into Manhattan to brave the Sales rush...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


to think that being alone on Thanksgiving Eve should mean anything to me, but here I am all lonely and upset. Silly really. What with me being British this isn't a Holiday for me. I think with this being my 6th Thanksgiving here in the States - I'm finally starting to accept it as being a big deal. A time to be with family and loved ones. It is important. So what with my husband still at work now at 9.15pm it gives me a sad feeling inside. I grew up watching Thanksgivings on sitcoms and in movies - it always seemed like such a joyous time full of love and laughter. Maybe my time to enjoy Thanksgiving will come when my children are grown and they're coming home for the Holidays. I look forward to those days. Maybe I'll go watch some cheesy American television - try get my mojo back. Happy Thanksgiving all.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Halloween - Robert Burns

Upon that night, when fairies light
On Cassilis Downans dance,
Or owre the lays, in splendid blaze,
On sprightly coursers prance;
Or for Colean the route is ta'en,
Beneath the moon's pale beams;
There, up the cove, to stray and rove,
Among the rocks and streams
To sport that night.


Wi' merry sangs, and friendly cracks,
I wat they didna weary;
And unco tales, and funny jokes,
Their sports were cheap and cheery;
Till butter'd so'ns, wi' fragrant lunt,
Set a' their gabs a-steerin';
Syne, wi' a social glass o' strunt,
They parted aff careerin'
Fu' blythe that night.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

there's no business

So I am totally into doing movies right now.. Loving it. Mainly seeing the behind the scenes - but being in on Samuel L Jacksons jokes doesn't hurt you know? I have been background acting on 2 feature films now, The Adjustment Bureau and The Other Guys. I have a main scene on TAB - at the bar standing next to Matt Damon for a whole scene - yay. And 2 scenes in TOG - one running towards a burning bus the other at the front of a press conference near the New York Stock Exchange. For some reason I'm getting put front and center camera, which is great! Really hoping I get some camera time and not cutting room floor time :) Will keep you up to date - but who knows where this will take me...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

R I P - Tree

They just cut down an old tree 2 houses from mine. I watched them saw through the branches and as they crashed to the ground all the Autumnal leaves that were clinging on until it was their time to Fall - floated down slowly - softly. It was really heart-wrenching to watch, but the sound without the image was worse. There's something wrong with progress when it leans in that direction. You see - someone is advertising on the side of the apartment building and that tree was "in the way"... "an obstruction". It must be almost 100 years old, the size of it. I can't begin to imagine what change has gone on around it as it grew taller. It stood in it's spot as this whole neighborhood was built and as houses were knocked down to make way for apartment buildings and the road grew wider, it stood silent, giving shade and showing beauty in its seasonal coats. So I feel a little sadder today - my street is a little sadder today.

Friday, September 18, 2009


It dawned on me tonight how much I miss being around people who know who I am. I of course don't mean that in a celebretard way. I mean know me inside and out. Know my dark brown hair is my natural color but I started out as a blond baby, as did my brothers kind of way. Know things about what I was like as a child, what I was like, what my family was like, what my village was like. Maybe it's a "coming of age" type thing, but there's a certain comfort in knowing people accept you for who you are even though they have known you since you were knee high to a something or other... My best friend of 28 years (yeah I was teeny when we met - noooo I'm not THAT old!) anyway my best friend of forever is having her first baby, and I miss her. I wish I was a part of that. I spoke to my Grandma the other day and she was talking about the bus situation or lack of and it must be the hundredth time she's told me but I still want all the details - every last one, because I miss it. I miss home. I miss everything about home. Sometimes you want to go - where everybody knows your name - has never been truer.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

there's something about a baby in little tiny knits

As my baby starts school, I found these photographs by Tracy Raver comforting. They grow so fast.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

much to do much ado

I'm crazy busy right now, no excuse for abandoning my blog though! My eldest daughter is staying with me just now, she came over from England 2 weeks ago, and my eldest brother was over so pretty much been sightseeing and keeping her occupied... We're off on a road trip on Saturday - down to Florida, returning to Disney World - the children will LOVE it as usual - I may need a beer at the German part of Epcot to keep the happy happiness going (or 6 ;) ) I have streamlined my store down to my line of Swarovski Jewelry, Hair flowers and bands, and what I have left of my pin-up collection. Launching September 5th with my range of baby and toddler hats - cupcakes and kittens.. new site will be up soon Pretty much havent been working out as much as I should have been so really need to step up to the plate - not literally though! Lots of salads in my future argh.. I'm still doing the Brooklyn Flea at Fort Greene on Saturdays through to Thanksgiving, then hopefully the holiday market after that. Had quite a few sales on the site which has been great, fingers crossed for a prosperous holiday period. As of Saturday 22nd I will be stocking a Scottish artisan jewelers line both online and at the flea - I hope she does well (as it's my cousin!) Really need to invest in a theme and stick to it for my booth though as I feel very higgilty piggilty. Much to think about - much to do.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


I love Ascot - the outfits are always a laugh and sometimes just plain perfect. Katherine Jenkins was a winning filly on Day 1 in this gorgeous pink ensemble. I adore! Can't wait til Thursday for Ladies Day!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sweet Tweet

I'm on twitter - belle bramble - tweet me

busy beaver

So it seems when not so much is going on I write about what I want to be going on - and when I'm run off my feet with things I forget to write! Last weekend I did a Saturday afternoon fair near Prospect Park for NY Creates, this weekend I'm at the Brooklyn Historical Society in Brooklyn Heights doing their Mothers Day show, next weekend I'm at Brooklyn Flea at Fort Greene then following weekends I'll be back at Dumbo Brooklyn Flea... argh.. then in June there's an outdoor Brooklyn Flea starting at Dumbo, so I may end up doing that on Saturdays and the indoor on Sundays - busy times ahead! It's taking a lot of organization to work out what I'm selling at these events. Anything to do with NY Creates I can only sell things I made myself ie jewelry, soaps.. and at the Flea I stick to anything 50s and pin-up themed. I'm still hoping to do the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island in June.. but haven't even started the float yet! All the children have been sick on and off for what seems like the whole winter, I'm so looking forward to a Summer of health :) Back to the grind-stone.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

One of the worst nights yet

The term "witching hour" refers to the period from midnight to 3am, while "devils hour" refers to the time around 3am. This was exactly right for me last night. Brought to mind the Sarah Connor lines: "The demons come after midnight in the first three hours of the new day when we are alone and vulnerable - deep in sleep and helpless, when we cannot move. They lay on us, press on us, suffocate us. Take from us what is most precious - our lives, our love, our sanity. Our sleep."

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Monday, March 30, 2009

Coo on the loose

A Highland cow called Floss escaped from a field and went on the run in the countryside for nine months. The four-year-old is believed to have escaped to go looking for her calf, from whom she was separated after being sold at market. During this time she became the ultimate free range farm animal, travelling more than 60 miles and living off the land. As news of her adventures travelled she became known as the Beast of Ealand, after the area in Lincolnshire where she made her lair. She would emerge at night to feed under the cover of darkness and craftily slip away before sunrise. Floss's incredible journey concluded on Friday when she was caught and transported 150 miles to Hillside Animal Sanctuary in Norfolk, where she will be able to spend the rest of her natural life ruminating on her wild young days.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Reserved for my baby

Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary my love

Ray of hope

My Father suffers from Parkinson's Disease - and suffers is too weak of a word to describe his pain. I always wonder why more research hasn't been done to find a drug that would properly control his symptoms. As much as I have doubts with Obama on most fronts I am happy that the ban is now lifted on stem cell research. A little hope for sufferers comes in the form of Google's co-founder Sergey Brin. He is to fund a genetic study of Parkinson's after discovering he is at risk of developing the disease. He will spend millions of dollars on research to analyse the DNA of 10,000 Parkinson's sufferers to discover what genetic and lifestyle factors lead to the disease. Brin revealed last September that he had a genetic mutation that sharply raised his risk for developing Parkinson's. His mother, Eugenia Brin, already has the disease.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

a little crazy a lot funny

This is crazy, funny, a little scary but totally cool all the same haha... Federal authorities are investigating a New York man's claim that he successfully shipped himself in a crate to Las Vegas via the United Parcel Service. A spokesman for UPS says the company believes Wade Whitcomb's claim is a hoax. The Transportation Security Administration and the FBI are investigating Whitcomb's claim. Whitcomb is a professional magician from North Syracuse who says he shipped himself to Las Vegas in November as a publicity stunt to promote a friend's new Web site. Whitcomb says he traveled in a custom-made crate and videotaped the trip with four cameras pointed out of the crate and another inside. I look forward to seeing if this turns out to be real.. think of the possibilities - and the money you'd save on air fares!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Home again

I got back from Scotland yesterday afternoon. It was a wonderful trip. I managed to see all my brothers, most of my Aunts and Uncles, my Mother and Father and my beloved Grandmother. I got a shock to see my almost teenage daughter has grown to almost 5' 5".. My trip didn't get off to a great start - we landed to be told that a Continental plane had come down, it took off from the same airport as us and at the same time. Pretty much sending my fear of flying hurtling at a million miles an hour for the rest of the trip. Luckily our flight home was very smooth, so I may venture back on a plane again! The weather there just now is in the 50s, and was a big change from the sub zero temps here. Although it did feel a bit weird to have Spring including lambs and chicks around in February. Good job I came back to a foot of snow and real winter :) Can't believe it's March already. My baby celebrates her first Birthday on the 7th and it's our 5th wedding anniversary on the 12th. It'll soon be Easter. My fear of flying means every time I land safely I feel like I've been given a second chance at life. So I've promised my husband I'll stop disagreeing with him so much and bought big black garbage bags to finally clear this house out. It's a bit like New Year - but without the hangover :)


194 pilot whales and half a dozen bottlenose dolphins became stranded on Naracoopa Beach on Tasmania state's King Island on Sunday evening. Rescuers used jet skis and human muscle to save dozens of whales and dolphins stranded on the beach in southern Australia. It was not clear why the animals had beached on the island, halfway between Tasmania and mainland Australia. The Examiner, a Tasmanian newspaper, reported that the animals were caught by a very low tide.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

snow angel

I usually only pray during natural disasters or on aircrafts. But this morning I didn't know what else to do when I heard on the news that a 3 year old girl had been found dead in the snow on an Upstate road near the Catskills. The police don't yet know what happened to her or why she was there. I don't know if this hit me so hard because of having a 3 year girl myself, but reading the story made me feel faint. I pray she didn't suffer long, poor baby.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Day of the Groundhog

Phil's official forecast as read February 2nd, 2009 at sunrise at Gobbler's Knob:
Hear Ye Hear Ye

On Gobbler's Knob this glorious Groundhog Day, February 2nd, 2009

Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Prognosticator of all Prognosticators

Awoke to the call of President Bill Cooper

And greeted his handlers, Ben Hughes and John Griffiths

After casting a joyful eye towards thousands of his faithful followers,

Phil proclaimed that his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers were World Champions one more time

And a bright sky above me

Showed my shadow beside me.

So 6 more weeks of winter it will be.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Hero in a box

Saw this in the Mail and wanted to share as it brought me joy to read such a lovely story.

"Gabriel Hurles' celebrated his sixth birthday by unwrapping the best present ever - his father home on leave from Iraq. The youngster was so engrossed in the cupcakes his mother brought to his class yesterday that he didn't notice the enormous wrapped box. The six-year-old peeled back the wrapping paper to find the surprise of his young life. 'It's my dad!' he announced joyfully to his classmates at Sutro Elementary School in Dayton, Nevada. 'Hi, Daddy!' Army mechanic Casey Hurles, 23, hadn't seen his son since he left in June. When he learned his leave would coincide with his son's birthday, he hatched a plan to hide out in the big box. After Hurles sat down and ate a cupcake with the birthday boy, teacher Dawn VanSickle presented him with a banner from the class that read, 'Welcome Home. Thank you for your service.' VanSickle told the Nevada Appeal she was happy to arrange the reunion in her classroom. 'One of the first things (Gabriel) shared about himself was that his dad was in Iraq and that he was waiting for his dad to come home,' she said. 'He talks about his dad all the time.' Hurles, who joined the Army four years ago, is a mechanic in the 1st Cavalry Division stationed at Fort Hood, Texas. He completed one tour in Iraq and is seven months into his second tour. Gabriel said he looks forward to playing with his dad over the next two weeks but understands why he has to leave again. 'He has to work," Gabriel said. "He works in the war.'

Bless him and God bless his Dad too and keep him safe - I can't imagine the pain he goes through being separated from his child for such long periods of time.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

some warmth on a cold January day

Had to share these two lovely stories - they really warmed my heart :) Affectionately known as Jack Frost, the little lamb, who was abandoned at birth, farmers think due to being born very early on January 1, thinks nothing of wearing an extra woolly layer. The tiny knitted garment, meant for a human baby, fits perfectly and Jack likes nothing more than snuggling up in it during the freezing weather. He is soo cute.

Staff at Besancon Zoo in eastern France have named this newly born Madagascar lemur as Tahina - she is one of only 17 Propithecus coronatus lemurs living in captivity worldwide, and is being cared for by vets, who must feed her around the clock with a tiny syringe filled with a mixture of cat and baby milk. Tahina has also been given a cuddly teddy bear that she can clutch to like she would in the wild with her real mother. Awwww!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


As everyone around me knows - I am as conservative as they come. Some also know that my Dads cousin was the leader of the party in the UK. I was the laughing stock of the ODPM because of that, as I worked there during Blair's rule - but the less said about that the better really! So... I am by NO means jumping on the Obama train just yet. Also, I am Scottish, born and raised so I can hardly say I am a patriot ... However, I felt proud to be an American resident when reading the following - it's an excerpt from one of my favorite journo's Richard Littlejohn:

"For now, we should all wish him well, whatever our political stripe. Gordon Brown likes to protest that the financial meltdown began in America, to cover his own culpability. But, one thing’s for sure, recovery can only begin in America.

Yesterday was a day to admire. Two million people turned out in Washington at the conclusion of a gruelling, open, red-blooded two-year exercise in democracy which saw a black man make history.

It was inspiring, particularly when contrasted with the grubby stitch-up which brought Gordon Brown to office and the contemptible resurrection of the unelected ‘Lord’ Mandelson as his effective deputy.

It reminded us that for all its faults, the United States of America remains the world’s last best hope.

Immaculate, no. Impressive, undoubtedly."

Friday, January 16, 2009

Plane sailing?

We salute you Chesley "Sully'' Sullenberger III. A heroic act indeed. By taking a big chance and ditching in the icy frigid waters of the Hudson, you saved so many. When I read you walked the plane twice to make sure all were out, my heart grew bigger. I'd be happy to have you fly my plane any day, and this from a fearful flyer like myself! Sullenberger, 57, of Danville, Calif., is a former Air Force fighter pilot who has flown for US Airways for 29 years.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

I have just about recovered from last nights festivities to be able to focus on the screen for long enough to write that I hope everyone has a happy and prosperous New Year. Now that the holidays are last weeks news, I look forward to getting on with enjoying Winter and all it brings. This past year brought good and bad into my life. The especially good thing of course was my darling blond baby duckling who at 9 months old now gives me reasons to smile constantly all day long. I'm hoping financially we all have a better year in 2009, and that I'm able to get over to Scotland to see my family in the next few months. I wish good health and happy days to all my family and friends.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Co` latha breith sona dhuibh!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas full of joy and laughter :) My baby girl started crawling on Christmas Eve which was magical to watch. Today is my Birthday. My husband brought her in to give me a kiss, which she did in her usual fashion by knocking her big head into mine, then she said Mama for the first time. It made my day. Tonight it's dinner and drinks, and the babies are having a sleepover at Nonnas. Yay :) Oh and I got a pink Kitchenaid for Christmas so much to the joy of my children I'll be baking cupcakes forever more!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Thr Grinch vs, The Snowman

A notice-bearing city code enforcement officer has felled the controversial but much-loved giant 16 foot snowman, who has been built in the Power family's garden in Anchorage since 2005. A few weeks ago, city code enforcers left three red signs at Snowzilla's bottom body ball telling its builders to cease and desist. The city notified the Airport Heights community council about its decision to abate Snowzilla, telling council members that the two-story snowman caused increased traffic to the point of endangerment and that the structure itself was unsafe. Now, Snowzilla is just a big pile of snow rubble. Bah humbug!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Not a good day for turkeys

Army chiefs have flown out a special consignment of Christmas turkeys to replace the ones destroyed when Taliban insurgents attacked a lorry packed with the birds bound for British troops in Afghanistan. The frozen birds were completely destroyed in an explosion en route from Pakistan to Camp Bastion. The consignment of turkey roll breasts weighing 325kg was intended for soldiers stationed at Britain's main base in Helmand Province, where up to 3,000 personnel will spend the festive season. I wish all the heroes a Merry Christmas and may it be as peaceful as possible.

Friday, December 12, 2008

RIP Bettie Page

What can I say? Rest in peace to the best pin-up of all time.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

One Giant leap for British bears

This is what school should be all about! Four teddies boldly went where no bear has gone before - to the edge of space with the aid of a giant helium balloon. Cuddly astronauts M.A.T and K.M.S and two bear colleagues were decked out in custom-made space suits and blasted 19 miles above Earth on a two-hour expedition. The student-run Spaceflight society is working towards reducing the cost of sub-orbital spaceflight. They have launched several payloads to near space on high-altitude helium balloons and are designing a system to launch a rocket from a balloon platform to out space for under £1,000 a go. Awesome.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Happy Heavens

Must have been awesome to see this - a rare cosmic alignment of the planets Venus and Jupiter meant they produced a smiling face with the crescent moon in Australia's western sky. Lovely way to start December :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

So sweet!

An adorable 15 inch Silver Dun Tovero foal was born 10 days ago at Riverdance Stud Farm in Victoria, South Australia. The vet gave her a clean bill of health and she is expected to grow to about 24 inches. I know what I want for Christmas!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

feeling lucky?

I bought a mushroom ornament for the Christmas Tree from Pier 1 this afternoon. Then went to Myers of Keswick in the Village to get some Cumberland sausage... and... they gave me a bundle of steak pies for free! They were a little burnt - but very edible. Everyone should get a lucky mushroom :)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Tis the Season

In preparation for our move I have started to sort through all the clutter, boxes of old toys, clothing etc that litters my house. I wanted to share a great site for all you New Yorkers:

It has a comprehensive list of places to donate everything you don't need. I believe in karma so for me it's a selfish act - anyone who has volunteered or donated will tell you it does you good to do good :) Especially in preparation for the onslaught of the family of Santas in the coming month.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Four is the new Seven

I read an article this morning and wanted to share it with you. In my case it definitely rings true. I've been married now for 4 and a half years and I do feel you hit a point where you realize things aren't what they were. Especially as the article suggests when you have children, you don't have the time or energy to make an effort to spend time with the one you used to devote all your energy to being with. In my case it's not that I wanted to leave, it's that I wanted to try harder to make time to be together with my husband. I think the issue with other couples is when one is trying all the time and the other doesn't want to try and so the one trying ends up "nagging" them to be with them. I think it's so sad when that happens, and in those cases often divorce becomes the only fair thing for all concerned. I for one could never be in a relationship unless I felt that love existed and that my husband was devoted to me. Without it, you might as well live with a friend, at least you wouldn't have all the arguing that goes along with the hate that abounds when love is gone.

"A professor from Wright State University surveyed husbands and wives once a year over the first decade of their marriages to observe how marital quality changes over time. The researcher, Dr. Larry A. Kurdek, found that couples often began their unions with high levels of marital quality, but that it appeared to decrease twice: once rather steeply over the first four years and again after about seven. (The pattern of change was the same for both husbands and wives.) He also reported that couples with children experienced the steepest declines. The research, in the September issue of the journal Development Psychology, began with a sample of 522 couples. Participants filled out an annual 32-item questionnaire on various aspects of marital quality. Sample questions included these: "How satisfied are you with your marriage?" "How affectionate is your partner?" and "To what extent do you do things together?" The husbands' and wives' responses were compared over time; 93 couples participated for the entire decade. Dr. Kurdek said "At the start of a relationship you can overlook the fact that he throws his socks around or that she leaves the refrigerator open. Over time, a sense of reality sets in. You'd started off making excuses for your partner. Then you don't. It's a natural evolution. "The second dip is more difficult to explain," he said. "It may just be the result of being in something for a long time. You start re-examining. It might just be the natural curiosity -- a sort of wondering about what else is out there." Dr. Kurdek also examined the factors that predict the rate of change. He looked at three major sets of predictors: divorce history, the presence of children and personality variables. He found that couples who have children together, not children from previous marriages, experienced the steepest decline. "There is ample evidence to indicate that having kids changes the overall quality of marriage," Dr. Kurdek said. "For the most part these couples are dealing with young kids, and they require extensive levels of supervision. You're spending less time together as a couple, may not have a lot of time and energy for sexual affection, and there's a lot more to argue about.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

le sigh

It's a weird feeling. I feel uneasy. Time will tell.